My Friend is reaching out to me..

and I dont know how to help him. On October 31 of this year, my Friend PJ allegedly shot and killed himself. I cried for three days after finding out the news. October 31 was also his 32 Birthday. We had grown up together. When I first met Pj it was on the middle school, school bus. My first memories of him, are of him walking down the street to the bus stop with his head phones in, a smile from one ear to the other. He had a laugh that was so unique to him. He was the kid who was always getting thrown out of class for playing the drums on his desk. He couldnt stay still, but thats what made him who he was.

Life caught up with us though. My mother died from a drug overdose when I turned 16, and my sister and I had to move away. I remember the hug PJ gave me on my last day with my friends, before having to move away. He was security to me. I moved away, got married, had kids. PJ however, spiraled out of control. The opiate epidemic consumed him much like it did my mother and my father. He developed a myriad of diseases and called me once even to tell me it was his last 2 years on Earth and hed like for me to go to his wedding. He never got married. He died just a few months later to a gunshot wound to the back of his head.

Now here I sit 6 weeks later and his presence has been overwhelming me. Visions of him reaching out to me, in agony. The visions happen to me while I am awake, and when I dream he is also there. I am drawn to his favorite songs and I sense him trying to communicate with me.Its been going on for two days now. Its like his life just vanished before my eyes. A spirit so vibrant and full of energy that just decayed and shriveled away, with no sense or purpose. I am grieving, but his presence is making it more difficult. What does he want me to know and why is this happening.

Hi BettieB


Welcome to Mystic-Sisterhood it's great to have you join us - i'm just so sorry about your circumstances which brought you here... Suicides are so painful to deal with, they're a different kind of grief and I understand you on a personal level.. I have lost five friends this way in the past four years and my heart goes out to you

You are right that it's like watching a vibrant, happy  soul just decay and fade away and then disappear. It is heartbreaking and so much goes through your mind as a friend... what could you have done and why didn't anybody notice the signs if there were any. It's very complicated and I want you to know you're not alone in this, a few of us here understand the losses from suicide and drugs

I love you still have those little happier memories, his personality shines through even by your descriptions of him, that's so lovely. It sounds like PJ thought the world of you and loved you so much, especially after him inviting you to his wedding, he really wanted you there and I think he was so proud to call you his friend..... so sorry for your loss Angel

I'm going to keep coming back to this for the next couple of days, I want to help support you on a practical level but I also want to read for you, so i'm keeping open if PJ would like to come to me and communicate anything that I can relay back to you. I'll be keeping my notepad open in case anything comes today/tonight or tomorrow

--

How is your support system, do you have any support right now from mutual friends, your husband etc ?

You are more than welcome to post as much as you need, it's going to be important in helping you heal from your grief., sharing your story and his story so you can find people who understand and can help support you.. the loss was so recent, six weeks.. bless you...


Talk very soon


C

Thank you so much, Cloud (Is that what you prefer to be called?)

I searched the internet for awhile, looking for a place I could share this with, and if possible get a reading. All in all I really just wanted to share, and not have to pay someone my arm and my leg to do so haha.

I myself am a prophetic dreamer and an empath. But my dreams are not so cut and dry and many times I dont even find out what they mean or were predicting until the event happens, and then I realize it! IN my dreams with PJ, I can sense his fear. He wants me to do something, I know he does, I feel as such. He is circling down into a dark tunnel. But I have not a clue what it is that I can even do.

I was not able to make his funeral or wake because I had just had a baby 3 weeks prior to his death and wasnt ready to make the 3 hour trip to where he lived. So there is part of me that wonders if i just havent found closure. Its so funny that you say he "thought the world of me" because thats what he use to always tell me! <3

Cloud is fine, but you're also welcome to call me Sam (antha)
I don't usually give my name out but I understand, sometimes it's nice knowing a person's name. You are so welcome for the posts so far, I am going to come back to this today and finish your reading as I feel pulled/drawn, definitely

Spirit will always find a way to come forward , I did hear in my mind that he thought the world of you. I know he did. I feel it.
As an Empath (and Medium) sometimes the feelings that come to me are so strong I can't put them in to words. The love I feel from those in spirit for their living loved ones is the strongest of them all. And he's giving that for you.....It makes me feel like i'm being wrapped up in wool... He wants to give you a hug and pass that on. I am just going out but you're priority as soon as i'm home, we'll talk then

There is lots you/we can do and i'll explain it all as soon as I get home.. I'll do my best for you

For now i'm just glad you were drawn here and that PJ helped you to find a place where he'd also feel comfortable coming through, we're honored and will do what we can to help

Speak soon


Cloud

I just read back and see you're also an Empath. You will understand what I mean then by feeling emotions sooooo deeply. It's a very strong love he's passing on to you. I don't feel he is sad at all... I feel his fear is more directed towards those who are left behind (still living) and i'll explain more later on

Theres a lot of questions circling around right now whether or not PJ killed himself, or if it was a homicide. Ill explain a bit what happened:

IN short, PJ and his girlfriend showed up at his dealers house to buy some drugs. Pj went into the house and came back out. When he got into the car he told his girlfriend "hold on babe I forgot something, I will be right back." He did not come back. A gunshot was heard and his girlfriend went screaming out of the car asking what had happened. The people in the house would not let her inside because they did not want her to see him that way "supposedly". They all claim that PJ shot himself.

The story does not add up to me!!! This is part of why I am tormented. My spirit is nagging me that something else happened. Cannot prove :(

BettieB wrote:Theres a lot of questions circling around right now whether or not PJ killed himself, or if it was a homicide. Ill explain a bit what happened:

IN short, PJ and his girlfriend showed up at his dealers house to buy some drugs. Pj went into the house and came back out. When he got into the car he told his girlfriend "hold on babe I forgot something, I will be right back." He did not come back. A gunshot was heard and his girlfriend went screaming out of the car asking what had happened. The people in the house would not let her inside because they did not want her to see him that way "supposedly". They all claim  that PJ shot himself.

The story does not add up to me!!! This is part of why I am tormented. My spirit is nagging me that something else happened. Cannot prove :(

Bless you all... i'm so sorry
I can understand why you need some closure (I use that term loosely because I know there never is an easy grieving process with suicides (or homicides) But I pray you all find peace

Some things have come to me. Spirit will communicate in various ways , I personally hear them / see them and can communicate in other ways, sometimes loves ones in  spirit will show me visions that I am to understand/piece together to form a message, the first thing
PJ shows me is a dart board - meaning he felt like a target. But not by the people who were around him when he died, he says, but my the would-be in laws. He explains to me that he felt like a target and was afraid of what was to come (or not) to come in regards to his future plans, mostly surrounding his relationship(s). I say realtionships because whilst he loved his fiancée I do feel he was close to a few people and was afraid of losing them

I feel as though a suicide sounds right, and i'm so sorry. I can understand why you would feel worried about homicide , I really can but I get a very strong sense that the people around him in the room (or in the next room) were just as terrified at the time of his passing .. I don't pick up the sense that anybody knew this was coming. I feel as though he saw an opportunity and took it...... I don't feel he was thinking clearly at all, I feel (and it sounds) as though he was afraid and worrying a lot about things falling apart in his life. This is difficult for me because i'm feeling your pain and I know this message will likely make you very emotional... Please let me know if you'd like me to continue I don't want to trigger you... but I am here for you- we all are. I'll continue with your permission ok?

Love,
Cloud

Under UK Law I must state that readings are for 'entertainment purposes only'-..Please seek professional support if you are needing help with health or legal matters. We can't diagnose or decide outcomes on legal matters. Thank you for understanding we must state this for your protection and ours.

After reading, I believe you are right. I suppose it is a hard thing to accept.

Thats him <3

It has also made me confront some feelings I had for him that perhaps were abit more than friendship. Always unspoken and unacknowledged, we always just stayed friends and nothing more. But I admit, inside, I did feel a bit more than I ever admitted, and seeing him spiral out of control as we grew widened the distance unfortunately :/

I can see and feel what youre talking about now though. I see a kitchen table inside a trailer, people are playing cards. A King of spades is standing out to me, but I dont understand what that means. Then I see PJ skinny and unwell, reaching down towards a gun and then sitting down on both knees. And then it just stops. And the weeping begins.

Can you make sense of any of that>??

Yes ... I can. I had the same vision of him getting on his knees... it seems there were around three people in/around the property at the time. So sorry.... I had a feeling you might have loved him in this way...... or, had a connection that ran much deeper.... so sorry for your loss He's just as I pictured him except he had more of a tan in my vision but yes he was wearing a cap just like in this... [Only mods are allowed to see this link]

Suicide is tragic.. can tell he was a lovely person who got a long with many... it just reflects through.

I'm thinking about the king of spades, but I also found this

King of Spades is a Crown authority of Wisdom and Mastery. They are born on the first day of the year, the top card in the deck. King of Spades represents the ultimate spiritual energy and wisdom. ... Through suffering and the hard road to wisdom, they make it to the final: Rulership.

I feel that PJ is showing you this to reassure you that whilst he was (and did) suffer he has made it to 'the final' in other words, he has crossed over to be with his loved ones and there's no need for anybody to panic otherwise about where he is I feel this is his way of saying I made it, don't worry about me now and where I am

I also feel he's with a friend, a male, who passed of in an accident

I'm still open if PJ wants to come to me and bring anything more



Did he have a tattoo on the back of his right shoulder?

Ok, I mentioned the tattoo just now and see in picture he had quite a few. He's kind of pointing to symbolism of the one on the right, behind his shoulder. I'm not sure if you'd know what that one is, but try and find out because he mentions it being important

I cant be sure about the tattoo on his shoulder. But I do remember him talking about wanting to get one there! As well as the friend. I believe it was his "Uncle Doug" who passed away back in 2016. They were good friends, and PJ would always post playlists of his favorite song to remember him by. Ive been listening to it also.